I saw you

I thought I saw you,
in the setting sun
in the way that things went wrong.
I saw you
when things were heavy
and I couldn’t breathe;
a simple illusion
was all you could ever be.

I thought I saw you,
in between the storm
in the rain as it continued to pour.
I saw you
when my life seemed steady
and I longed for more;
I saw you
when days start to grow cold.

I thought I saw you
when I closed my eyes
there in the depth of a starless sky.
But I saw you,
in the endless grieving
when I was unable to find home;
I saw someone
who was never there at all.